"Every good and perfect gift is from God."  We had so much fun tubing tonight at Treetops.  I feel so "rich" as a person when we get to do these things.  Its humbling to know that most of the world doesn't get to have this kind of fun...we are blessed!

Oh, God, please help!

Psalm 105:4, "Look to the LORD and his strength; seek his face always." (NIV)

I've never been this heavy....even after having my babies....so somethings gotta give.  I just want a quick fix...take off the weight now and I'll be better from here on out.  Doesn't work that way, so I get depressed.  I think my biggest problem is that I like all the wrong foods.  God, please help me!  If I call out to you ever moment that I desire something that isn't good for me, will you please strengthen me?  If I call out to you when I know I need to eat and I can't think of anything I think will satisfy or give me the protein I need, will you please answer me?  I hate that I am this desperate, I really can't do it on my own, I am asking humbly for your help.

Day 1:  176 pounds.  Joshua wants us to sign up for WW.  I want to just do the carb thing we did several years ago, eatting fruits and veggies and one meal with carbs and proteins.  Because I need to see something with quick results.

hard boiled eggs
protein shake
protein bar with low carbs
turkey
ham
low fat cheese
chicken breast
chicken stir fry
veggie pizza
soups with Venison
potatoe with venison and cheese and broccoli, lots of broccoli

celery

carrots
peppers
apples
bananas
grapes
raspberries
oranges

water

Psalm 105:4, "Look to the LORD and his strength; seek his face always." (NIV)

Beckett Jude Rupp

I guess this is just for me.  I mean, there is a lot I would post on Facebook, but then I realize, it is a little too personal for everyone to see...wouldn't mind a few people, but really all 200+ friends?  Mostly, what I want to post on Facebook is really more for me than anyone else, so I am looking for another way to facebook just for me.  Maybe this will work.

I don't think I can put my heart into words.  I love that when I can't do that, God knows my heart any way.  It is so comforting.  And my feelings are unjudged with Him....but, It doesn't seem fair to love this guy so much!  I am really not a baby person, but this guy stole my heart.  I can't explain it, but because no one else will read this... it was almost like he was my son...  I know I don't feel "allowed" to love him this much....

So, leaving Indianapolis tonight was really hard.  I wish I could stay and check on him every day.  I want to see him as he gets better, be there for him and with the family for any rocky moments, and just be present.